I forgot to write a blog entry yesterday. Having to keep up with these blog posts is becoming rather difficult. After meditating, I usually go take a shower and eat my dinner. Only after that do I start on my homework. Except I always forget that writing a blog entry everyday is also a part of my homework. Last night, the fact that I had to write a post completely escaped me.
Getting back on topic, day 6 (yesterday) it rained, a lot. Lately the weather has been rather random, so I have to try and wiggle in my meditation between times when it isn't raining. But yesterday it rained non-stop after I got home, so I decided to try and meditate inside. I had meditated inside before, but that was when nobody was home yet. Today, my neighbor was mowing his lawn and my mom was cooking in the kitchen. I was also facing out into the living room where I could see everyone doing their everyday thing. The excessive noise combined with the visual disturbances, meant that I was constantly distracted and couldn't 'concentrate' on meditating. This coaxed me to go do some research on where one should meditate. I had just assumed that all you had to do was find a quite and calm place. But I've learned that besides being harmonious and tranquil, the space you meditate in should be comfortable, uncluttered, and spiritually nurturing, although it isn't necessary. Also, if you're going to meditate indoors, make sure to reduce as much ambient noise as possible, and meditate either while facing a wall, or with your eyes half-closed . I think the best advice I learned after researching today was that tip about closing your eyes. The natural human tendency is to focus on something if it comes into their immediate vision. Therefore, if you close your eyes, you can't get distracted by something moving into your vision. Just remember to not completely close your eyes, or you might end up falling asleep.
Day 7
Today is the end of week, and it has become much more easier to meditate. I'm able to keep my back straight without having to think about it and I'm concentrating on my breathing for the entire time, with my mind getting distracted maybe once or twice. I can feel that I've improved my ability to do zazen, and I'm quite proud about that. Despite this improvement, I still feel like my goal to become more aware of myself and the world around me hasn't been sufficiently reached. While I am concentrated on my breathing while doing zazen, I'm still relatively aware of whats around me. I can hear the water filter of the aquarium running and the the soft drone of the air conditioner, but I try not to let myself get distracted by them. However, even though I'm aware of these things, I want to try take it even further. A couple of days ago, while I was meditating, I wasn't being mindful of the environment around me, and because of that, I hadn't realized that the curry my dad left on the stove was burning. In fact, I didn't even know he put something on the stove. If it wasn't for my sister, who knows what would've happened. All of this makes me feel like I need to put more effort into my goal. Throughout this whole week I've gotten caught up with the idea of doing zazen, and making sure I'm doing it correct. The only thing I haven't been paying attention to was my goal. So I feel like I need to continue doing zazen for the next week to really see if meditation can enable me to become more aware of myself and the the world around me.
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